The Need for Belonging - The Symptom of the Individuality Syndrome
For Seekers of Truth – Reports of a hallucinating journey.
Well! Many problems are found in this life, and much of that life is
spent trying to resolve them, many of them were already here before your
"arrival", and will certainly continue after your "departure" ... still
other problems, closer, more intimate ones, were also at your
"arrival", others weren’t a problem and then slowly became a problem ...
others were a problem before and after a time ceased to be! Strange is
it not? ... Makes you wonder of the nature of "things" ...
Still, a deep conviction, that these problems are really a problem, and
that, there will certainly be a solution! But what is the real
understanding of life? Do you know what you are "here" for? Do You know
what is "here"? You know where you come from? Where you’re going? Do you
know who you are?
How about starting from the basics?! Life has become a confusion,
running from one side to the other without knowing where you’re going,
searching for something better, without knowing who you are, without
knowing what you need, where do you think that you will take you? You
have become too sophisticated, too complex, what about start
simplifying? ...
Well, at this point your life has already taken many turns, but is
probably the same, maybe you have changed colors, tastes, knowledge,
language, image, more or less entertained, your still in the same. ..
You live in circles only, you shake, you change, you make twists and
turns, but always turn to the same, sometimes it takes you longer to
have that perception, but sooner or later you turn to the same
questions, and you lower your arms for a certain period , and then start
off again, once more, another circle ...
Certainly much has changed, you will say ... maybe you have changed
your relationship, something that was oppressing you and made no sense;
Maybe you changed your job, which you maintained for security, for the
check at the end of the month that was used to keep a series of "things"
that didn’t serve as much, and still enslaved you in a job that didn’t
bring you any joy, it was just something that make you empty, maybe you
changed your religion, certainly there was a problem with the other God,
and it’s doctrines or even better ... now you are not religious, now
you are spiritual, you follow a new philosophy, or better yet, a very
old philosophy proven by millennia ... now you eat differently, sleep
differently, have regular practices of spirituality, you do charity ,
you are a rarity ... But take a good look ... have things really change?
While you're in the period of change, experiencing so many new things,
you can’t even tell, but when the initial excitement cools down, it all
becomes clear. So much you have given away, and ... did it really
change anything? There "inside yourself", di it really changed you? Take
a good look! Does it make a difference to make so many changes in the
cenario, if you are always the same? Do You know who you are?
The question is always the same! Deluded with who you appear to be, you
find yourself "here" in the midst of a whirlwind, that you couldn’t
understand, the story was going, and you along with it, and is still
rolling, and you don’t perceive that this history has its own life, you
don’t know who you are and imagine to have some control, options,
choices, opportunities ... and everywhere so many material and spiritual
promises, that you are craving to buy ... after all it’s just a
question of control, and by knowing correctly, surely you will make the
best choices, or you will choose what will bring happiness, because that
is what determines for you right and wrong: the result, which is
analyzed at that time, and according to that "level" of understanding,
without any vision of the whole picture ...
Deep down is a very simple question ... Suffering ... You do
everything to avoid suffering! But what is suffering, and where does it
comes from? It comes from your beliefs only, nowhere else, only from
your beliefs. You think you're a body, an individual who is in the midst
of other individuals, you think you need love, you think you need to be
happy, and to have this love, this happiness, this joy, you will have
to earn it ... this is what you have been told by the world, at least
that little part that you know of, and this is what says the GREAT and
VAST majority... (Whatever that may mean)
The great sorrow of your life has been rejection, this painful thing
that deprives you from the love you imagine that comes from others, and
this is a symptom of the true "syndrome" ... Only because of that, all
you do is conditioned by the approval or rejection, is always the same
quest, so all undertakings, whether physical or spiritual, are never
satisfactory, because you will find a great diversity of opinions, and
some will always be different from yours, and the ghost of rejection,
will always appear ... Whether you’re totally plunged deep in endless
material endeavors, or your dividing your time in the material and
spiritual goals, or you’re completely devoted to spirituality, and
everything happens around it, maybe it's time to stop and evaluate
whether this ghost is not still around, if this ghost continues to
deceive you? ...
In the spiritual world, if everything Is not all spiritual, or material
(depending upon your definitions of spirit and matter), it is the same,
the same principle ... Life has taken you on a great journey of change,
you have given up so many things, you found great truths, but you can’t
realize them ... Maybe you found a new lifestyle, surrounded yourself
by more loving beings, who seem to understand you, a new philosophy of
life, healthier, and yes, your life has improved! This means, in your
understanding, that experience began to be more pleasurable, more
peaceful. First there were big dreams, big promises from the potential
of this path, and so much evidence that Liberation is possible, but in
the middle, and after the initial efforts, and in a very subtle way,
something changed. You have distracted yourself! If you have to live
from something, why not live for something that makes you feel well, why
not passing it to others? How I will be happy to do it, and will bring
happiness to others, as I continue my path ... what a fantastic plan,
and you continue merrily ... you will teach, you will practice, you will
an open a studio, so many dreams and projects, that will drain all your
attention ... and over time weaken your practices, or go into
mechanical routine, or in pure oblivion. Perhaps you entered a group at
weekends, doing some very interesting rituals, or even secret, very
serious, and inside of you all remains the same, the same fears ...
Possibly you have abandon all matter, taken up an order, maybe you live
in a monastery with the spiritual routines in your everyday life, with
your practice, but deep down the same fears ... Perhaps you have become a
healer, without first healed yourself, perhaps you have become a
teacher without actually learned, perhaps you are showing a path that
you haven’t actually walked, after all what's wrong with that, if
everyone around you are doing the same? There nothing wrong, but your
just distracted, distracted from what’s really important to yourself!
Convinced that you are real, as you recognize yourself, and so this
universe must be real, as it is recognized, submerged in that
recognition, you continue helplessly confused, and suffer, you keep on
suffering.
All paths, all spiritual philosophies, speak the same thing, that
suffering is an illusion that comes from the illusion that the world is
an illusion, only when you Realize YourSelf, you will go beyond
illusion, and therefore beyond suffering. This in itself should be
enough, but it isn’t. And if you're a more serious seeker, one of those
who aren’t worried about suffering, and who already have understood the
first point, that the world is an illusion, and ask yourself if the
world is an illusion what then is Reality ? So this question would be
enough to keep you from resting until the answer was found, but it
isn’t. You say, that is very nice, but the bills, the family, the
responsibilitys, hunger, loneliness, sadness, and suffering, they are
all there! I see them! I feel them!
After so long, nothing ... Ask yourself do you really want to break
illusion, or is it more important to belong? Are the same ghosts still
there? Do you travel a spiritual path, but continue with the same fears,
fear of being alone, fear of not having enough to eat, afraid of not
having a place to sleep, fear of not having a companion, fear this and
fear of that. Are you really working to free yourself from illusion, or
are you working to find safety in illusion? You build and you attach
yourself to what you build, and yet you dream with FREEDOM, and each
time it looks more like a dream, and each time it looks a longer
journey, and each time the desires and fears multiply, and you keep
struggling to reduce them! And as you can not belong, you continue to
feel rejected, so you become angry and fight: fight against the system,
against the police, against evil, against poverty, distressed by so many
struggles, completely oblivious about you, you roam about this
universes, age upon age ... just fighting against the ghost of
rejection, the pain that oppresses you, without any idea about ??who you
really are.
You know, your heart is pure, always was, always will be, however the
"things" are not what they seem, you are not what you seem to be.
Whatever you've found that gives you security, whatever you think you
still need to be safe, it is only an illusion, a distraction ... and see
how strong it is! Whether you're in spirituality, matter, or both, the
illusion is the same. By accepting the goals, the distance, you accepted
without questioning. Perhaps your life has changed a lot, maybe you
have found a group with whom you identify, maybe you have a perfect
home, but tell me, do you know who you are! Are Realized? Are You Peace?
Are you Joy? Are You Fullness? Are you?
How can you ever belong to the world, if the world has ever existed, it
has existed only in you? How can you be accepted, if there is no one
that you can accept, nor is there whom you can reject, how could it be,
if only you exist? But while the focus is on safety and acceptance,
there is hardly an understanding of these words. You will need to change
focus, and deeply question, question all fears, look at them in the
face and conquer all fears, break the illusion of individuality, the
"syndrome" that perpetuates the illusory suffering. Perhaps you think
now: if suffering is illusory then what's the problem? And you think
well, no problem! Just ... for whom is the illusion?
Everything changes and nothing changes, because nothing really happens :)
Hmmm??! ... Sooner or later it will be time to question.
In Serenity,
Satyavan
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